Me and White Supremacy: Day 18 Journal Questions
I’m leading a group discussion circle on “Me and White Supremacy” by Layla F. Saad. I’m taking the journaling challenge daily throughout February even though I’m not white. If you happen to be white, why not take the challenge? If I can do it, you can do it too.
Day 18 Questions (from the text):
1. What white savior narratives have you noticed yourself buying into (whether consciously or unconsciously)?
2. In what ways have you believed that BIPOC are helpless and require intervention and help from people with white privilege?
3. In what ways have you tried to intervene or offer instruction or guidance, believing that your (superior white) view would offer the best solutions?
4. In what ways have you spoken over BIPOC or for them because you felt that you could explain their needs and experiences better than they could? In what ways have you put BIPOC words through a white filter?
5. How have you unconsciously thought about dismantling racism as something that you needed to give your “help” to as a good white savior?
6. What has your reaction been when BIPOC have told you or other people with white privilege that they do not need your “help” and that instead they need you to listen, do the work, and follow BIPOC leadership? What reactions have you noticed coming up (e.g., white fragility, tone policing, white exceptionalism, white superiority, etc.)?
In week 3 we’ve reached the section on allyship. As this section by definition cannot apply to me personally, I will share some observations that may be helpful for my allies and would-be allies.
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Recall On day 4, I ask that white people in particular speak up and take action on matters of racial equity. I explain that we need help from white allies, and that if it were possible for BIPOC to end white supremacy without this help, it would have happened already.
Notice that I didn’t say that white people need to come to our rescue or be our saviors.
What’s the difference?
Once upon a time I was in a Facebook group, right around the time that Michael Brown was murdered by police in Ferguson. Being that most of the members of the group leaned liberal, the murder and aftermath were discussed at length. A well meaning white guy decided to ask the POC in the group how other white people in the group might help combat racism. It went down something like this (paraphrasing):
White Guy: How can we help POC in this group? Are there any POC with Ideas for us white folks?
Black Guy: I have some ideas.
White Guy: I’m all ears.
Black Guy: What if we de-center white voices to give more weight to what POC say on posts here discussing race? That way we won’t be hesitant to discuss this for fear of being talked over, and white folks can not comment and just observe, listen, and learn when that happens?
White Guy: No, that’s not what I meant. I mean we want to help too, by getting involved in the discussions and offering our input.
White guy was looking for someone who was going to reaffirm the narrative of what “helping” looked like in his head (i.e., a token), rather than someone who voiced what was actually needed. When the suggestions given differed from his opinion, they were discarded. Then, I witnessed several other white guys jump in to back up our “hero”, and Black guy with ideas that were actually helpful was first spoken over, and then when he became frustrated with the situation, he was troped as the “angry Black dude” in the group for pushing back. He ended up flouncing from this group (with good reason) and when he did, white guy immediately posed his question again to the group — asking whether there were any other POC with ideas for white people on how they could help out with the cause.
Ironically, this is a case-in-point example of exactly why Black guy suggested what he had.
“I am going to help you” implies “by listening to your needs and taking on your burdens as I am able”.
“I am going to save you” implies “because you need saving by me”.
Who is centered in each of the scenarios above? Which one says “I know what you need” vs. “you know what you need?”
That’s the difference.
Remember that slave owners also mistakenly thought they were “saving” their slaves, from an “inferior” civilization, from a “dirty” environment, and from their concept of hell. But the truth is these folks would have been just fine without intervention, as they had always been.
Better, in fact. As it turned out, much, much better.
I’m forever grateful for those that want to help combat white supremacy, just consider when offering — are you still willing to give help even when what is being asked of you is not what you thought was needed? When it contradicts what you had envisioned as helping? When you can only “help” by doing nothing but sitting back and listening, learning, observing, or possibly, when asked, by doing nothing at all?
And if instead, your help is conditional on you calling the shots, is it really all that helpful?
